Each parenting personality has an internal question that drives their choices and actions. Constellation parents ask, “What can my family and I do to better our community, whether that’s a team, school or workplace, extended family relationships, or neighborhood?”
(Read to the end to find out what drives the other two parenting personalities—Fireball and Crescent.)
Of course, all parents prioritize their child’s needs, but where Constellations shine is at zooming out to get a broader view of how they and their immediate family are affecting people around them.
Like the countless stars glimmering in the night sky, Constellation parents know they’re a small part of a whole—no one star is any more important than another. They see themselves and their children as valuable members of a community that only works well when everyone shines their brightest.
Just because Constellations are parents, that doesn’t mean they believe their responsibilities to their community have changed. They’re probably among the first to volunteer when a need arises, whether it’s organizing a meal train for new parents or leading their child’s Boy Scout troop. They take pride in their identity as a team-player and a helper, but they also feel that without the dedication of individuals like themselves, too many corners would get cut and the community would suffer.
Being part of a larger community is a priority to Constellations and they extend this philosophy to their children in the way they raise them. They spread chores throughout members of the household and expect kids to be teammates in the family. They may even take a vote to determine things like which movie to watch or where to eat dinner.
Constellations often choose careers that are community-minded, for instance, joining the military. In the armed services, everyone has a job to do, and each job is an important piece of the collective puzzle. Being in the armed services means working as a team and, often, focusing on the greater good, rather than your individual needs or desires—another area that overlaps with the values of Constellation parents.
They set high expectations for themselves, their children, and others. In parenting, this comes through in their focus on rules, structure, and boundaries. Constellations like having order and predictability, and rightly believe kids thrive on them. They’re excellent at communicating the rules and expectations to their children, and don’t feel much guilt in implementing a consequence when they’ve provided sufficient warning.
What can my family and I do to better our community, whether that’s a team, school or workplace, extended family relationships, or neighborhood?
Even though you may be a Constellation at heart, that doesn’t mean your parenting personality can’t shift. And actually, it’s really important to know when to change gears!
Where Constellations ask, “What can my family and I do to better our community, whether that’s a team, school or workplace, extended family relationships, or neighborhood?”
Crescents ask, “How are my children (or the children I’m with) feeling right now? What can I do to make them more comfortable in this situation?”
And Fireballs ask, “What is going to be best for me and therefore my family in this situation? How can I set boundaries to make sure I’m not overworked, overwhelmed, or anxious?”
Constellations might sometimes need to lean more into their child’s wishes (like a Crescent) or their own needs and boundaries (like a Fireball). That might mean sitting down to play with your child without feeling like you need to rush off to some other obligation, or communicating stronger personal boundaries when volunteering will mean overextending yourself.
The Solar System Parenting Framework offers opportunities to understand ourselves better, and learn and grow alongside our children. This work of personal growth can improve our relationships with our child, our partner, extended family, and friends.
Still need to take the quiz? 👇
Each parenting personality has an internal question that drives their choices and actions. Constellation parents ask, “What can my family and I do to better our community, whether that’s a team, school or workplace, extended family relationships, or neighborhood?”
(Read to the end to find out what drives the other two parenting personalities—Fireball and Crescent.)
Of course, all parents prioritize their child’s needs, but where Constellations shine is at zooming out to get a broader view of how they and their immediate family are affecting people around them.
Like the countless stars glimmering in the night sky, Constellation parents know they’re a small part of a whole—no one star is any more important than another. They see themselves and their children as valuable members of a community that only works well when everyone shines their brightest.
Just because Constellations are parents, that doesn’t mean they believe their responsibilities to their community have changed. They’re probably among the first to volunteer when a need arises, whether it’s organizing a meal train for new parents or leading their child’s Boy Scout troop. They take pride in their identity as a team-player and a helper, but they also feel that without the dedication of individuals like themselves, too many corners would get cut and the community would suffer.
Being part of a larger community is a priority to Constellations and they extend this philosophy to their children in the way they raise them. They spread chores throughout members of the household and expect kids to be teammates in the family. They may even take a vote to determine things like which movie to watch or where to eat dinner.
Constellations often choose careers that are community-minded, for instance, joining the military. In the armed services, everyone has a job to do, and each job is an important piece of the collective puzzle. Being in the armed services means working as a team and, often, focusing on the greater good, rather than your individual needs or desires—another area that overlaps with the values of Constellation parents.
They set high expectations for themselves, their children, and others. In parenting, this comes through in their focus on rules, structure, and boundaries. Constellations like having order and predictability, and rightly believe kids thrive on them. They’re excellent at communicating the rules and expectations to their children, and don’t feel much guilt in implementing a consequence when they’ve provided sufficient warning.
What can my family and I do to better our community, whether that’s a team, school or workplace, extended family relationships, or neighborhood?
Even though you may be a Constellation at heart, that doesn’t mean your parenting personality can’t shift. And actually, it’s really important to know when to change gears!
Where Constellations ask, “What can my family and I do to better our community, whether that’s a team, school or workplace, extended family relationships, or neighborhood?”
Crescents ask, “How are my children (or the children I’m with) feeling right now? What can I do to make them more comfortable in this situation?”
And Fireballs ask, “What is going to be best for me and therefore my family in this situation? How can I set boundaries to make sure I’m not overworked, overwhelmed, or anxious?”
Constellations might sometimes need to lean more into their child’s wishes (like a Crescent) or their own needs and boundaries (like a Fireball). That might mean sitting down to play with your child without feeling like you need to rush off to some other obligation, or communicating stronger personal boundaries when volunteering will mean overextending yourself.
The Solar System Parenting Framework offers opportunities to understand ourselves better, and learn and grow alongside our children. This work of personal growth can improve our relationships with our child, our partner, extended family, and friends.
Still need to take the quiz? 👇
The Solar System Parenting Framework & Quiz were first introduced in our book, Modern Manners for Moms & Dads. An Amazon #1 New Release in two categories, the book offers real-world advice on how to handle the sticky social situations parents with young kids face every day.
But rather than offering a simple list of dos and don'ts, Modern Manners for Moms & Dads incorporates the parenting personalities and helps readers consider their gut reactions to find a course of action that balances their needs, their child's needs, and everyone else's expectations of them.
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